People and Identification

So the most cliché thing to say, is to say that “I hate labels.'”

Well, I’d be lying if I said that, because not only I not hate anything at all, I think sometimes they are necessary to describe myself to other people in simple terms. I even use derogatory terms for my benefit. For example, my class instructor asked me a simple personality question out of curiosity, and I used the word ‘fairy’ for myself. (People who are against using labels like that would probably not fancy my company).

I use the word queer almost daily. And what would Any Warhol think of this?!

I never use derogatory terms, or any terms at all to describe anyone else, because it’s not only ‘rude’ to other people, I don’t know how they feel or wish to be described, or want to come across to other people.

Though, labels certainly are weird. I don’t know much about mod culture. Not at all. It’s a wonder I know how to write a blog. I do see some rather wacky things on The Internet though. People are somehow assuming roles and labels themselves.

I’ve come across so many ‘I hate labels’, ‘labels are evil’….the word is repulsive just to look at. It’s used so much with so little actual meaning. Maybe I should blank it out throughout this post.

Sometimes people will tell me “You shouldn’t label yourself, you don’t have to be anything, just be Freddie.”

Well, I kind of have to sometimes, for the comfort of myself and others. It comforts me to introduce my personality a certain way, so that people aren’t shocked by me, or get the wrong first impression of me, which would occur quite a bit.

(Wearing a Wig)

Wearing wigs are great way to add to your look. You can change everything about the way your hair looks in a second, going from long brown to short blond, and back again as the days pass. If you’re having a ‘bad hair day’, you have something to fall back on without getting too annoyed by your hair. They are a great accessory to invest in.

When buying a wig to wear, first look at your local options. If you do a little looking, you’ll probably be able to find a wig shop near you. Some will be real human hair, and high in price (in the hundreds), and some will be cheaper. However, there are places to purchase great quality wigs online for fairly cheap as well, if that’s the sort of way you’d like to purchase it.

There are no rules when buying wigs. You can go for unnatural colours, wacky and crazy, or something natural looking.

• If you can’t decide on wear to start when buying a wig, try something opposite of your current hairstyle. Something long if it’s short, or something dark coloured if it’s light.

If you don’t already have one, or your wig shop didn’t give you one for no added costs, you should invest in a wig cap. Unless you have very short hair, wig caps are very much important to how your wig will look.

• If you have long hair, tie it back in a ponytail, before putting on your cap. This way, there wont be a few hairs that fall out throughout the day, because its tied back.
• You may also consider using ‘bobby pins’ and hair pins to hold the cap, or the wig in place.

When you first get a wig and it’s been packaged, shake out the curls if it’s curly, and use your hands to gently set the hairs in place so that it doesn’t look like it’s been pressed for a long time.

• Take your wig to the hair salon and get it trimmed and styled the way you would like it to look, if it isn’t pre-styled or cut to the way you like it to look.
• When you put on your wig, you may want to fix your eyebrows to match, or to look more similar to the wig. You obviously don’t have to, but you might want to consider it if that’s how you want it to look.
• You can use a little bit of corn starch on synthetic wigs to make them look less plastic, just dust a small amount of it throughout. 

Don’t be nervous about wearing wigs in public. Even if you know that you aren’t fooling everybody, and everybody knows it’s not your natural hair, you should never be embarrassed to wear it. It’s just another accessory to your outfit or style, like a nice pair of shoes or a hat. For example, when you wear high heeled shoes, it’s not like people think you are trying to fool them into believing that your taller than you are!

Wearing wigs to work or class for the first time may make you feel a bit nervous, if no one else there wears wigs. Who knows, by the end of a few months, everyone could be wearing them.

It’s good to experiment with wigs. Different companies, colours, lengths, styles, it doesn’t hurt to try something completely new out.

• Store your wigs on a wig stand to keep the shape. Store in a place wear it doesn’t get to hot, and if you have pets, you should be careful that they don’t get into them, because they will!
• Wash them as often as they get dirty and stale, washing them may be different for different wigs, so if you buy one, ask the store clerk, or consult the package to see what it says about washing.
• It’s best to dry the wigs on a stand to keep the shape as it dries, but careful about placing a wet wig on a foam wig stand, they tend to become mouldy.

Dresses

I don’t much like the dresses they sell today in woman’s clothing shops. I wasn’t exactly sure why for a while, it’s not that the patterns are so bad, or that they are shaped strangely, but I recently realized the main difference between an enticing dress that a girl could wear anyway from the 1960s, and one from today is the area between the upper chest to the neck.

Today I went to attend my classes and saw at least thirteen girls wearing strapless dresses. I was shocked how sort of ‘too much’ the look was. It doesn’t even look like a dress, more like a fancy bath towel being draped around a girl with a belt. I was imaging how easy it would be for someone to accidentally step on her poor ‘dress’ on the stairway, causing it to slip right off of her.

 

 

This is the kind of dress a girl can depend on to stay on, and fulfil it’s purpose as clothing.

I really don’t wear many dresses myself. I have a longer skirt, but I’m not always into the ‘guys in dresses thing’ except for certain circumstances. So I really don’t know much about this sort of thing, but it sort of shocked me today, to find out how much I didn’t like this particular style fad.

Hosting a Hip Bash

Let’s be perfectly clear, your definition of hip may be (and most likely is) different from mine, but if you’re planning a party of any sort, most if not all of these tips and pointers may come in handy.

Casual parties aren’t much of a common thing anymore. In today’s terms, a party is a few crazy teenagers preparing to get together to get completely drunk. People don’t have cocktail parties, fondue parties, key parties (that’s right, I’m adding that factor to this post), or even barbecues often anymore. It used to be that whenever there was some event even a miner one, everyone got together with one another. Family friends came together for children’s birthdays, there would be celebrations for work achievements, etc.

Well, at least you are able to turn things around.

Putting Things in Order

The hardest part is planning. If you live with someone else, you need to make sure that you have a time where you can use the desired portion of the house. You need to decide how many guests/couples you’d like to have, and you need to make a list of these people, with back-up in case some can’t arrive.

Set a date, and a time length for your party. It’s more comfortable when there is a set ending time, and even if you want a few friends of yours to stay longer, it’s all right to have them stay longer, without a huge group of other people with you. Make sure it’s a reasonable time/date. I would suggest not do plan something on a long weekend where people may be traveling, or busy. Also, be careful with the time. Some people may have school or work the next morning. Also, the timing should be appropriate for the event. Example, if you plan a cinema party, and the film is 90 minutes long, add another 30-50 minutes for mingling, and waiting for guests to arrive before the film totalling about two and a half hours or so. Don’t drag it out, after watching the film, your guests may be more tired from sitting in the dark for that long, and conversation will be weak after that. Also, if you try to slap on some more time before the film, guests will just be waiting around for the movie to begin, getting bored.

When you invite people, don’t invite people you’ve had trouble handling before. Some people just don’t dig parties with calmer settings, and they may want to run wild to ‘liven’ the party. Also, don’t refrain from inviting people you hardly know. That way you’ll be able to get to know them, parties aren’t restricted to close friends.

Make sure you plan every aspect of the party before you even do the inviting. Depending on what group of people you mix with, you may want to set a dress code, that should be noted when you invite them. Also, you’ll need to know what sort of things you’ll need to buy for the event. From drink mix and snack foods, to music or even decorating materials, you don’t want to have to make multiple trips to the store. Make sure you have every ingredient for every cocktail/drink you are planning to make.

A few things that should be thought of as key points: Music, Entertainment, Drinks, and Snacks. Music and entertainment may go hand in hand, but you should have one set event or theme to centre your party around. Not all people like parties that just consist of talking and mingling. Watching films, dancing, mixing cocktails, et cetera. This is where you can be creative. Remember: You’re never too old for a birthday party. After a certain age, people start dreading birthdays, but, think of it as a way to throw a great party and get a few gifts in return!

Also, if you are going to allow, or encourage smoking, tell guests before hand. Now days, it isn’t a widely excepted thing, and as you know restaurants and public places don’t even allow it. So, some of your guests may not be very fond of smoking, and instead of having them come and be disgusted, make sure they know before hand.

The Looks

You don’t need to excessively decorate, but a bare room is boring too. Table cloths, and serving dishes are more important than you’d think. You shouldn’t just open a bag of chips and set it on the table- pour it into a bowl. Use matching glasses or a similar set of glasses for drinks. Depending on what the primary snack is (if any) set it in the centre of the table. (Example: a Cake, a fondue pot, etc.) Be creative with this part, there are so many things you can make.

The lighting is also important. An ordinary lit room makes it seem less like an actual party. Black lighting can be fun, colour lighting, and temporary lighting (dim light that is easy to turn down/off) if you’re planning to watch a film.

If you are planning to dance, make sure the furniture is moved out of the way enough for every guest to have room. Also, plan ahead to make sure you have music that is easy to dance to. Either have a ‘disk jockey’ change the records/tapes/CDs out for you while everyone is dancing (or do that yourself), make a mix tape/CD, or settle on a few albums that have constantly easy to dance to tunes.

If you do watch a film, make sure that there is enough comfortable places to view the motion picture. If you have more guests than you do seats, just throw around as many pillows as you can find, and lay down a rug if it isn’t a carpeted flooring area. (If you were to set out blankets rather than pillows, just remember that it entitles your guests to get erotic with each other, especially if they come as couples.)

Inspect where you are planning to host the party. If anything seems doomed to break during the event, move it out before anyone arrives. Also, make sure to keep the coats/shoes/purses in a different area than where the party is going on.

Make sure you are prepared to clean afterwards. You don’t have to put plastic on the sofa, or the carpet, just locate the party in a room that’s easy to clean. There will most likely be spills.

Make sure you know how to dance, if you host a dance party. Because dancing isn’t a common party even anymore, you may need to be the one to start the group out. Otherwise, you’ll all just be sitting there, listening to tunes, wondering if anyone is going to do anything, and when the party ends.

Also, learn how to mix drinks before hosting a cocktail party. There are wonderful recipes online and in recipe books for you to chose from.  These are some of my favourite. This website groups the drink recipes by decade. At a cocktail party, make sure that your guests have a way to get home afterwards.

Make sure you evaluate every aspect of your party, looks (decorating), food/drink, entertainment, sound (music), guests (how well they will get along and interact), duration, and anything else you can think of. Have back up plans, especially in case your guests seem to become bored. It is hard to capture the attention of large sums of people for an extended period of time.

Do your part as a host/hostess. Dress up (suitable enough for your dress code) and be there for your guests. Stay calm, and in control of the situation. If you decide to drink, be careful not to become intoxicated. Make sure your appearance is represented in such a way that everyone knows that you are in control of the situation.

Afterwards

After ending the party, you should wish your guests a good night and a good evening, and start by putting the food items away. If there was any stains or messes that happened during the party and weren’t already cleaned, clean them immediately so they don’t set in.

Then, depending on how late it is, or if you asked some of your friends to stay longer or not, you should clean the rest up. Clean dishes, floors, put things away, and return everything back into its normal position. This is the worst part about hosting, but if you turn on some music it goes by in no time.

If you share a home with someone, like your family or a roommate, they will appreciate it if you clean up after yourself completely.

 

I’m sorry if some of my suggestions seem out of date, my lifestyle and choice of party styles may be different than yours.

Avoir un grand temps!

8 Creative Influences:

 

1. Ziggy Stardust

David Bowie’s androgynous, extra-terrestrial, persona that he preformed on stage as is a very eye catching creature. With “screwed up eyes, and screwed down hair-do”, Bowie mixed acting, sexuality, and glam rock music to create one of the most entertaining stage shows of the early 1970’s. The totally far-out and inhuman appearance of Ziggy, with multi-coloured space suits, and mile high platform shoes turned a lot of individuals on to a different set of fashion, including myself. The fact that his character was so complete with an unheard of hair cut and shaved eyebrows made things seem to me that, in some way- everything can be attractive with a little help. Ziggy made sex an  interesting factor in the show as well. The dynamic sexual tension between him and Mick Ronson (One of the ‘Spider’s from Mars’) was electric enough to feel in the air, as they sung together, with Ziggy’s passionate eye contact, or him going down on Mick’s guitar. Although it was an act from the both of them, it was so thrilling and appealing to all sexes, that it almost makes you step outside of your sexual orientation to get a better view.

David Bowie put an end to Ziggy after only preforming as him for about a year. It was as if Ziggy, the effectual alien creature, was fighting for control of David’s own mind. It was only best that David should jump right out of his alternate persona before it took over of his personality completely. As David had already prophesized in his ‘Ziggy Stardust’ album, Ziggy was destroyed by the energy of his fans. But he still is very influential on all sorts of people today. The style, music, and general energy of Ziggy is still completely unforgettable and inspiring.

2. Syd Barrett

Syd Barrett’s short lived music career as part of ‘Pink Floyd’ in the late 1960’s and brief solo career in 1970 is still remarkable unforgettable and influential on all sorts of people today. His unfortunate mental abnormalities that caused him to stop preforming effectively, and made recording difficult as well ended his career, but his peculiar way of thinking only made his music seem more interesting while he was still able to successfully write and preform. His songs were psychedelic and whimsical, his voice was strong and sweet, and his guitar playing was mind-expanding and original. Aside from his music, he had a distinctive way with words and a delightful and content personality that caused him to be well liked by many, leaving quite a mark on those he knew, and even perfect strangers through his music. Although it’s terribly sad to hear the stories and rumours of his post-mental-breakdown life of seclusion, and the theories that his friends, and acquaintances have tried to put together to answer the question “What is the matter with Syd?”. After 30+ years of a peaceful solitude spent with his close family, Syd (now preferring to be addressed as his name ‘Roger’) passed away in 2006, but his music and charisma from his young adult life will live on forever as his music continues to be shared from one to another.

3. David Bowie

Although Ziggy Stardust was mentioned earlier, it was made very clear by David himself that there is a definite difference between the alter-ego character of Ziggy and David Bowie.

David Bowie is a kind man who tried many things in his life. Acting, singing, miming, dancing, it almost seems that he was built for fame. He was described by people who knew him as unpredictable, and has kept the interest of fans for decades. Currently, he lives with his beautiful wife and daughter, not preforming since having a sudden heart attack in 2004, but recently producing another album called ‘The Next Day’. His pre-Ziggy life was more laid back, and personal, and happens to be very inspiring that way. His personality is strong and unforgettable as he awes people with his dazzling way of words. His long career full of ups and downs will be common music knowledge for quite sometime.

4. Mick Jagger

Just like Bowie, Jagger managed to keep audiences attention for decades. He was a part of the popular British Invasion band ‘The Rolling Stones’ and is just as memorable as ‘The Beatles’ but with a more down to earth and straight to the point tone. His way of dress was fascinating, and his use of sexual vibes in his shows were just as alluring as the Ziggy Stardust concerts.

He had a strong, recognizable voice that made his songs easy to point out. The clothing he wore was also very inspiring. It was almost able to be described as basic, but it memorable enough to love. His personality was also notable. It was able to take everything that happened around him. Although he sometimes quarrelled with Keith Richards and other people he was with. He was so realistic that way.

5. Roger Waters

Roger Waters was a singer/songwriter also for the band Pink Floyd. Along with writing a lot of music with strong lyrics to match his strong singing, he wrote a film called ‘The Wall’ based off one of his stage shows/albums.

It is also clear that he was deeply affected by the ‘breakdown’ of his long time friend Syd Barrett, and based many of the themes of his songs and albums off of mental illness and insanity. He still occasionally preforms even though he is no longer a part of Pink Floyd. He’s a deep thinking individual with the ability to successfully transfer his inner thoughts and feelings through his music. He seems so realistic and enthusiastic on stage which makes him an easy to like as a person.

6. Marc Bolan

Another glam-rock icon, Marc Bolan is a singer and guitar player. His concerts were very alive and energetic. His music was bouncy and easy to move and dance to. His style was inspirational too (I love his hair & blazers).

Oddly enough, at one point, he married a girl named June Child who was a former secretary/manager to Syd Barrett.

Unfortunately his music career began to slow down, and tragically, in 1977, he died in a fatal car crash. It doesn’t matter how many years ago the horrible crash occurred, it still saddens me to remember how unfortunate poor Marc’s wonderful life came to an end.

7. Andy Warhol

What’s there to say about him? Isn’t he great? He knew how to just sit back and be entertained by the world around him.

 

8. Joey Ramone

Lead singer and frontman for the punk band ‘The Ramones’, Joey was another energetic stage performer. His realistic personality was a very fun thing to watch. His constant humour and joking in interviews made him feel like a realistic and down to earth kind of guy.

His (and The Ramones)’s music was fast paced, loud with heavy and guitar that was easy to jam too, and surprisingly simple, yet incredibly entertaining. He was six feet, six inches tall, and thin as a pole, wearing bright red coloured glasses hidden under his long black hair. His distinctive looks made him stick out from the rest of the band members.

He unfortunately passed away in 2001 of lymphoma, but his music is still enjoyed by many today. It kicked off the start to the ‘punk rock’ music genre. Although I’m not that much into the punk style, Joey was a big influence on my life.

“I want to be a gentleman, you just need to give me a chance!”

My personality, actions and demeanour are always a mix between masculine characteristics, and female traits, so finding an obvious way for expressing masculinity is not always as easy as it could be if I wasn't such an outlandish gender-bender.

I express my feminine traits with ways of dress, clothing styles, and sometimes even with cosmetics. I have a few feminine habits such as folding my legs while sitting, and gesturing my hands often when speaking. You may be surprised what volumes your common physical habits can speak.

However, expressing masculinity is a little bit harder when stereotypically, people see me as the kind of person who would much rather be the less dominant figure in a group of both men and woman.

Little acts of kindness acting towards females really help. It makes a lady feel good, and it makes a man feel more ‘dominant’ (please don’t take offense to my terminology if there are any ladies reading this, I’m certainly not saying that woman are any less than men).

• Pulling out someone’s chair when they sit down
• Opening doors for your friends, girlfriend, or strangers behind you
• Holding a girl’s hand when walking across a street (mostly applying to couples, other’s may be offended or annoyed)
• Taking your lover’s jacket, or putting it on when leaving or coming to a place indoors
• Carrying books for someone (students: you may think it’s out of date, but it’s very much not so!)
• Complimenting someone when greeting them
• Treat all woman with respect, even ones who haven’t given you any. (It may seem pointless to be nice to someone who will never give any thought to liking you, but other people will see how tolerant you are of that sort of thing, and it’s very attractive in a man.)
• A gentleman will not swear in the presence of a lady, or someone in authority of you. (Boss, parent, etc.)
• Gift your lover with flowers, candy or whatever it is she fancies. All though I used the typical flower/candy gift as an example, other things like music, or jewellery are also important. Jut ask what sort of things she likes.
• Don’t let other people insult any lady you are with, but don’t start fights either. Just make sure that the women you are with get their desired respect.

I’m not a lady, darling! My name is Freddie!

Do I lose my right as being called a ‘he’ when I dress myself femininely?

“Hello, ladies!” “Can I help you ma’am?” “Excuse me, miss".”

Whenever I’m out shopping with my friends, I’m always, and I mean always, mistaken for a woman. Do I mind? Absolutely not! I understand it, of course, for I’m dressed like one, I look like one, I sound like one, it’s just the way I was made. My question is however, am I ‘allowed’ to correct whoever mistakes me for a woman? Do I have the right to say, “I’m not a girl, I’m a boy.”

I wouldn’t want the store clerk, oh whoever to be embarrassed, I wouldn’t want them to think that I am annoyed by their honest mistake. If they really had no way of knowing, there is no fault to it. I’d make sure that my correction is more of an introduction of myself rather than acting as if they were berating me. And surely, not everyone has to be corrected. Not everyone has to know, but only if it will benefit the future of our short term relationship.

Some say that I am unable to correct people, that because I chose to put on a type of clothing, or chose to wear make-up, I am representing myself a certain way to others, and I simply lose the privilege to confuse them, by telling them I am a of a different sort. In fact, some people have even said that I lose my privilege to flirt with other straight girls, because I’m escorting them to consider that I am another woman, and that in fact, I’m complicating their sexual boundaries and orientation. Wow!

Some others say I have every right to correct anyone and everyone, because a person shouldn’t be so quick to judge a person by their way of dress. I don’t know if that’s true, either, because if I honestly minded the fact that people were unknowing of what gender I am, I would probably make it apparent, wearing what the normal group of boys wear now days, but I don’t. Maybe the world is a little bit split down the middle as far as gender, but maybe that’s a good thing as well. How is a stranger ‘supposed’ to great you? “Hello sir/ma’am!’, or “How are you all doing, group of individuals?” (rather than saying ‘guys/girls’). So then, how come when a girl dresses herself in clothes normally associated with men, why does she not get jumped to the conclusion that she is a boy? Is it because if you accidentally call a woman a man-completely by mistake, a woman would appear to be more offended?

Maybe it shouldn’t be looked at with such detail at all. I’m not a girl, I don’t want any purposeful association with that. I would prefer to be, a ‘boy’, or just completely sexless at all. But, more importantly, I will be who I really am- ‘Freddie’. No one can convince me that I am not ‘Freddie’, and as long as I am Freddie, I don’t to be anyone, or anything else. Maybe I should just let sleeping dogs lie. If being mistaken for a woman doesn’t bother me, is it really worth looking into?